Setting Boundaries: Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself

Ive just read about detachment with love and its really helping me at the moment. I instantly feel relieved, like i can be supportive from a distance, instead of feeling hurt & heartbroken again & trying to change this situation. Weve always made a good team & made decisions together but this way is my only hope of saving my marriage and the emotional stress for our two children aged 12 and 8. When your spouse is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of taking care of them and protecting them from the consequences of their own actions. Loving actions such as cleaning up the living room after they’ve been sick, giving them money when they ask or buying them more wine when they have the shakes can quickly turn into enabling behavior. Just because someone is struggling with addiction, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to get better.

Can You Love the Art and Hate the Monster? – The New Yorker

Can You Love the Art and Hate the Monster?.

Posted: Wed, 24 May 2023 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Loving a drug addict can and will consume your every thought. Watching their physical deterioration and emotional detachment to everything will make you the most tired insomniac alive. The people around us have a stronger influence on our decisions and actions than we realize. Here’s what research reveals about our networks’ gravitational force. There are several ways to tell if a loved one is using drugs, even if that person is dishonest about drug use.

Loving an Addict: Life Is Uncertain

Boundaries are clearly outlined expectations or rules set forth so that both partners know what behaviors are acceptable. Being in a relationship with an addicted person can be difficult, and there’s no shame in walking away. Especially if leaving your partner might be the best option for both of you. These support groups offer partners and loved ones of addicts a place to share their experiences.

  • This will lead to healthier changes in your addicted loved one as well.
  • Addiction often causes a lot of pain and conflict in relationships.
  • You might stop liking them, but you don’t stop loving them.

It means refraining from providing financial support for their substance use, refusing to turn a blind eye to their inappropriate actions, and resisting the urge to make excuses for their destructive behavior. But intertwined with that duty is a heavy cloak of guilt that weighs upon your shoulders. Guilt for the potential consequences of leaving, as you fear what might happen to them in your absence.

Money and Recovery – the Impact Financial Awareness Has Had on My Quality of Life

This drug along with all the others takes their minds to some outrageously crazy scenarios, they have no logic! Ive had him put trackers on me, bug my phone, call me numerous times with different phone numbers and then tell me im cheating saying all those numbers are different men. It mentally breaks you down til you are a shell of a person.

loving an addict

It’s by talking that we give each other permission to feel what we feel, love who we love, and be who we are, with the vulnerabilities, frayed edges, courage and wisdom that are all a part of being human. What I do know is that when he is ready to change direction, I’ll be there, with love, compassion and a fierce commitment to stand beside him in whatever way he needs to support his recovery. He will have an army of people behind him and beside him when he makes the decision, but until then, I and others who love him are powerless.

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